Christmas Wish List!

Yeah Boi! Rexton the last dinosaur in da heezy! The blogs been slow so let me break it down right quick! UHhhhh! Well, lately i've been thinking about what i want for Christmas so I'm gonna post my list and maybe if you rub your nipples hard enough I will post links and images.

The first thing I want is a Trikke and no, a trikke is not a cross between a transvestite and a dike. A Trikke is a "three-wheeled cambering vehicles are human powered machines that utilize Trikke Tech’s patented 3CV technology to allow a rider to propel a chainless, pedal-less device forward without ever touching foot to ground." Pretty much their the coolest things since Razor Scooters. So check out the web site http://trikke.com/. The people at Trikke are probably gonna read this blog so i'm pretty sure there gonna send me one for Christmass. Don'ty worry when I recieve the gift I will act all suprised and shit like i didn't know.

The next thing I want are carpet slidders. They are these slippers that allow you to slide on your carpet. Sounds pretty sweet to me! I watched this lady slide on a carpet and she looked like she was having a gay ol'time. So Santa give me those slippers or I will call the police on your ass.

Theres a whole bunch of other things that I want but I don't want to go into too much detail so I will just list them off.

1. 42 inch plasma tv with an HDPVR 160gb cable box
2. 160gb ipod
3. Iphone
4. Rock Band
5. A nice warm casual Jacket
6. Air Zoom Flight Five
7. Zoom BB
8. Nike Zoom TR
9. Boat
10. Five grand
11. Penis Pump
12. Ethiopian Child
13. Justin Timberlake
14. Ounce of purple Kush
15. A fake gold Chain

I don't know if I'll get all these things because I have been a naughty boy and Santa doesn't like naughty boys or does he?

Time Machine

Does anyone want to help me make a time machine? I'm planning to save Jesus!

Rexton the last Dinosaur

Been Blogging for a Miniute

So I just watched an interview with Chris Brown. According to Chris Breezy he's "[been] here for a minute". I can't remember what interview it was from but I can remember those words comming sweet sexual 17 year old mouth. How do I know hes 17 (turns 18 in May for all you faggots) because I wikipedia'd that shit. I ain't gonna front like I didn't. So what the fuck does "been here for a minute mean." It doesn't make any sense because he used it in a way that implied that hes been here for a while. Fuck, hes confusing me and shit. If anyone but a black guy told me that hes been here for a minitue I would think that hes been here for literally 60 seconds but if a black guy says it I think it sounds cool, hip, and I totally get what hes trying to say. Another line that doesn't make any sense at all is Usher's Confessions Part 1. The line comes at the end of the talking part when he gets all mad and shit about his boo and says "put that on everything". Again it doesn't make any sense but sound so cool comming from his mouth. So this post was a complete waste of time but who the fuck cares, so are blogs and blogging and I think I will put that on everything!

Rexton the Great

Fuck Handicap Spots

Honestly this shit bugs me! They have like 20 handicap spots at our local superstore. They're always fucking empty and when they're occupied its like impossible for people to back out because they're in a shitty location. Sometimes I think about taking one of the fresh Christmas trees they just got in and driving it through some veteran's face. away with it b/c I'm mad...... Anyways put the fucking handicap spots at the back. In fact why are we letting handicap people drive?? Isn't that a part of being handicap?? You lose your legs and you cant walk, You go deaf and you can't hear, you end up handicap and you can't drive??? If you moved all the spots to the back at least people wouldn't steal them claiming they're on some disability shit and all the handicap people would be happy cuz they have a spot to park like every time they go shopping. What is handicap??? Isn't it some way outdated term to describe mentally challenged, physically challenged, obese, elderly, or blind people??? Wouldn't make sense to give each of these people a different parking spot like they're giving a different designation? They're basically calling amputees retarded!! Think about it.

Where did the Slowjamz go???

Does anyone remember slow jams? Remember the gay ass shit you would listen to when thinking about the one you were pursuing? Remember how you would pretend that it was actually you that was on "bended knee" and that there was so many complications preventing your love from blossoming? when really, the truth was that she just wasn't that into you b/c there was like 150 other guys in the same grade that were actually good at sports.

Well it seems times have changed. You don't see a slowjam culture like back in the day. Theres a lot of reasons for this:

Was it Celine Dionne? Did that titanic bullshit sink the genre all together. I must admit I liked that song but after a while I thought to myself "Are you fucking kidding me? I'm never listening to this shit again!!!"

Was it b/c boyz 2 men got old? Its weird listening to that kind of shit when you're a teenager. I wouldn't be surprised if some teenagers had to ask their older siblings what making love actually means. Thank Akon for that.


Was it indie music? Instead of sitting on the phone all night talking to the one they're pursuing, teenagers now slit their wrists and shit b/c life is way to overwhelming and love is something nobody can understand but them.

There is obviously a lot of reasons why slowjams aren't that popular anymore. To me, it was just growing up. I don't want hear about making love, I want to make love have sex. And I feel like there is plenty of other musicians, mainly emcees putting out quality "love" songs. A decent emcee can cram 10 times the amount of lyrical content and could create something way more artistic than Kci or JoJO could. So with that being said I leave you with a few of the most important emcees of the year sharing their thoughts on love.


Common - I want you


UGK Featuring Talib Kweli - Real Women


Lil Wayne - Pussy, Money, Weed


Talib Kweli - Hot Thing

Body Surfing!

Recently I have been into body surfing and I have come to the conclusion that it is a fucking dope ass thing to do. Honestly, just fuckin body surf! Really, if you think about that shit, you can do it anywhere and anytime! You can do it at a house party, a pub/bar, concert, bowling, church, at Aldo, etc. You can't get mad at people for body surfing because all you do is smile at that person whos hating, drop the person you holding up in the air, lift the h8ter, and start body surfing them. Once their in the air, give them a little tickle and surely that will turn their frown upside down. The dopest part about it is that you can stick your fingers in any of the bodily orifices of the person your holding up. So don’t hesitate to put a finger in the mouth, anus, vagina, nostril, belly button, urethra, etc. Yeah, that might sound gross but you cares, just fuckin do it. First of all they will be having too much fun to even care about that shit, secondly, they will have no evidence that finger in their butthole was yours. Just make sure you keep your nails short in order to prevent poo getting stuck between you finger nails, and wash your hands you dirty whores. I suggest you start by starting off by picking up a small asian guy or girl. They are nice and light, won’t really get mad because their timid and shy. But if you’re looking to have some real fun, try body surfing a hardcore black guy. He will be giggling like a school girl in no time! Oh Yeah! Try body rolling. Its a little dance move that I picked up from a Vietnamese Jew. It involves rolling your hands down your body but that’s another story for another day!

Blogasaurous Rex

Gorilla Zoe: Guilty Pleasure of the week

Gorilla Zoe is a new name on Bad Boy South and also the cat who replaced Young Jeezy In Boyz N Da Hood. I'm not big on anyone in particular in Georgia besides the obvious few but I must admit I really love this dudes style. The coolest thing about gangster rap is how they come up with a metaphor for crack house.

"okayy
its just another day at the coffee shop
I grab them coffee beans, time to heat them coffee pots
turn them lights on, j's rush the parkin lot
this the neighborhoods number one stop n shop
no regular, we only serve the best
for the low low, cheaper than the rest!
I'm takin orders, tell me whos next
only cash, no credit, no checks
when your car stop, welcome to starblocks
you wanna triple your knot? invest in our stock
n now we doin numbers, like the closeout
make sure you shop wit me, before its sold out "




Heres that shit.

Gorilla Zoe - Tryna make a jug
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=EYQDV2WX

Gorilla Zoe - Hood Nigga
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=SNY97K7R

Yung Joc Featuring Gorilla Zoe - Coffee Shop
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=CPUDUVNC

Halo 3

Fuck yeah! I'm back to playing Halo 3 online and everyone get ready for the carnage to ensue. Let me blog about my recent matches today. Well,I got invited to a game with a couple of friends. While waiting in the lobby some asshole mentioned something about my mom's meat curtains. I am assunming that he thinks my mom has very large labia majoras or minoras. I didn't go online to be disrespected so I had two choices, 1. Come up with a clever but snappy comback or 2. Put my head set on mute. Couldn't think of anythin clever so I but my headset on mute and pretended that I didn't hear anything. One of my friends recommended to call 911 and tell the police to arrest that gamer for insulting my mom. I honestly thought about it but I realized its not worth it. 911 calls should be saved for emergencies like when people jade walk or don't walk their dog with a leash! I'm going to bed. peace out! Two!

Blogasaurous Rex

Dream a little dream.

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Purple Kush!

Supposedly I smoked some Purple Kush over the weekend and I know it was real purple Kush because I got it from a man who claims to be the best at everything in the world. Well let me tell ya, this stuff fucked me up. At the time I believed that I had a super power that allowed me to make crazy beats that were straight from the dome. Man, if I recorded that shit, I could of made millions and sold it to 3 specific people They are: 1. Elise Estrada 2. Noble Bushbi 3. Pierre Trudeau. Why these three people? Call me on my cell phone and I will provided an detailed explanation with diagrams if needed.

Also I was wondering if anyone was down for joining a cult this weekend. I got nothing planned so just throwing that idea out there. Well, I’m out! Gonna Work on my music! Two!

Blogasaurous Rex

Celly, Celly

The First Blog Entry from Blogbert. Cellphones, been trying to get a blackberry curve for about a few months now. But my main issue that's been hindering my attempts to purchase the cellphone that will increase my social status is Price. Cellphones nowadays are quite expensive without a contract, which i tend to stay aways from because of previous difficulties with other service providers.

Here are some ideas that I've come up with to increase my social status
1. sell a brand new sony ericsson W810i on craiglist, then flip the cash and pay the difference to purchase a balckberry
2. Take my sisters Upgrade (which is soon) give her the sony ericsson and pay the cost to upgrade to a blackberry curve.
3. final option: pay a crack head to steal a blackberry curve for me.

bloggers, any suggestion?

Blogbert

Puss on my mirror

wow. 7:30 in the evening already. Can't believe i just spent an hour trying to pop this fucking zit on my left cheek. It was one of those ones that weren't ready yet, but this bitch at work kept staring into my eyes when i was talking to her, instead she would stare at that fucking zit. I knew it wasnt't ready because I couldnt see that white puss part in the middle of it yet. Whatever i was saying to her at work didnt matter because i know all that she heard from my mouth was "Hi im mark, im a small dick asian motherfucker with rice on my shirt. and hey look at this zit on my side of my face. its fucking huge" anyways i tried putting pressure on it all day so when i got home the white puss part would be present and it would be easier to pop it. So as soon as i got home, i threw my bags on the floor and went into the mirror in my walk-in closet. I put on "paralyzed" by Finger Eleven to pump myself up, because as luck would have it, the white part was not there, and so i knew that the zit wasnt ripe and it would hurt like a bitch. I didnt give a fuck. I decided to go with the double index finger technique which is squeezing the zit with my two index fingers and supporting it by putting pressure on my chin with my thumbs. It took a while, and fuck was it painful, but now i have a huge spallter of puss on my fucking mirror. Success.

Big Dick Assassasin Mark Blogerson

Unidentified Juice

There is a cum stain on my mattress. I don't think it's the usual stain left by my mid-morning-pillow-dry hump. No. This one seems to be a mixture of both my Chiwawas' sex juice: Primo's siemen, Taco's pussy juice. The evidence shows that this is most likely the case. The uneven elliptical shape of the stain, seems to originate from two sources. Also, their is slight discoloration, which suggests a mixture of the 2 aforementioned juices. It's been a pleasure, but I now need to go sell more things on Craigslist. Seacrest Out

Jim E.

1st post!

So here it goes my first blog entry, ^.^

So i today i get a call around 6:28 by an old friend of mine. Surprise surprise. It's Mark and he asks me what i am doing. What do i say to that? should i tell him the truth and tell him i am sitting on a Simbian machine? or lie. I chose the latter. He asks me if i am going to the local Nightclub round these parts ( the standard). Ofcourse its my boys Sean G's Bday but i decide to not go due to my new blog. i have to go douche myass hole brb.


John E. Blawgz